e a r s

Against Me! - The Ocean

2008-10-22T15:42:00.000-07:00

Having recently read the fantastic ‘A Sideways Look at Time’ by Jay Griffiths, which also explores our society’s divorce with nature, I am more drawn to earth imagery in art. For much longer, I have nursed a somewhat-subconscious desire to experience the most visceral, connection-making, completely-engrossing music I can locate. It is when I hear these songs that my urge to share my thoughts about the music I enjoy grows stronger.

The last song on ‘New Wave’ began like most of the other songs on this short album, the unexpected duet with Tegan Quin being the exception. It’s a good album, and it gets better with more listens, but by that point in the first play, I was somewhat distracted and only half-listening. Here’s what caught my attention, and made me restart the song:

If I could have chosen, I would have been born a woman
My mother once told me she would have named me Laura
I would grow up to be strong and beautiful like her
One day I’d find an honest man to make my husband

This, in my opinion and experience, is one of the bravest statements ever recorded, due mainly to the genre of hardcore punk this band is classified under. These are not the kind of lyrics male audiences sing along with, and definitely not ones that sell records.

The first half of the song deals with the ubiquity of the waters of the earth; it clearly and concisely describes how everyone, regardless of location or social status, is touched. It hopefully envisions ultimate safety and happiness as exclusive of no one. Almost subversively, it seems to want this knowledge to not be obvious, but to be discovered, to be ‘hidden’ in plain sight.

The second half gives words to the simple yet fulfilled dream life desire that I must assume most people vaguely share. The dichotomy of a man voicing the visualizations of his female alter ego forces introspection, but the details after ‘husband’ are all unisex.

I have listened to this powerful song six or seven times now, and each time I hear it, I feel as if the song, not the band, not the singer, is reaching out with both hands, gathering fistfuls of my shirt, pulling me in, staring me directly in the eyes, and saying, “You are undeniably a part of the human race, of the earth. The connections you feel and want are natural, and are necessary. Go out and find more.”

Enjoy.

Against Me! - The Ocean (special thanks to JB for help on posting this.)

Lyrics in story form, as published by the band on their website.

If I could have chosen where god would hide his heaven, I would wish for it to be in the salt and swell of the ocean. Carried by the currents to all continent’s shores. Reaching into depths where the sun’s light has never shown. Mixed with algae and coral. Breathed in by sharks and dolphins. Sailed by tanker ships, private yachts, swam in by tourists. Working its way up through inlets, lakes, and rivers, swamps, and estuaries. Down through limestone into the aquifer. Purified by the county, pumped through pipes and out faucets. Filled into a glass to meet the thirst of our children.

If I could have chosen, I would have been born a woman. My mother once told me she would have named me Laura. I would grow up to be strong and beautiful like her. One day I’d find an honest man to make my husband. We would have two children, build our home on the Gulf of Mexico. Our family would spend hot summer days at the beach together. The sun would kiss our skin as we played in the sand and water. We would know we loved each other without having to say it. At night we would sleep with the windows of our house left open. Letting the cool ocean air soothe the sunburned shoulders of our children.

There is an Ocean in my soul where the waters do not curve.

Of This World

2008-07-30T17:45:00.000-07:00

Driving today, I saw a full rear window sticker declaring "Not of This World." I've seen these before, and my immediate gut reaction is always the petulant "Yes you are!" What was different this time was my recent reading of part of "A Sideways Look at Time" by Jay Griffiths, in which at one point he describes the differences between Western, Christian symbolism and that of other cultures. The idea was that the snake is a fundamental cosmic life-bringing element in ancient cultures around the world, but that Christianity is at distinct odds with these cultures in its view of the serpent. This brought to mind other fragments I have gathered over time, including the revisions of Christian event dates such that Christmas and Easter supplant the pagan, earth-centered 'holidays' of the winter solstice and the spring equinox.

I have witnessed t-shirts being sold at Christian youth events, emblazoned with "Forget the whales, save the PEOPLE!" I remember the pastor at an Indiana church taking strength from his interpretation of Scripture that he should hate his family if they distracted him from his relationship with God. There are bumper stickers that claim "My reward is in heaven."

I submit that the presentation of Christianity has been slowly altered, partially through the translation from its original languages and the selection of books to omit, and partially through mass-message emphasis, to alienate the people of the world from one another and from the earth itself. Christians are given no incentive to care for each other (save for the vague threat that the person they mistreat might be Christ, which is highly unlikely) or for their home; they are constantly encouraged to focus on the afterlife. In most cases, there is not even a tiered reward system; Jehovah's Witnesses are the only exception I am aware of. The whole point is to look out for number one, and make it to heaven. The earth is a proving ground, full of pain and suffering; its sole purpose is to test your worthiness to pass through the Gates.

Is it any wonder, then, that blatant disregard for the earth has become common among fundamentalist Christians? The prevailing attitude seems to be "I'll be dead (implied: and in heaven) when it really gets bad." For a group of people so ostensibly concerned with their families, it's ironic that they don't care what conditions they'll be living in.

This kind of turned into a scathing rebuke, but that wasn't really the intent. I just want people to understand that the connections between ourselves and those between us and our planet are ultimately far more important that those with a father figure in the sky, because every day, when you look at the people and places around you, you are seeing the face of God.

Well, A, it looks like my element might be earth after all.

The Softer Side of Tallahassee

2008-07-11T20:33:00.000-07:00

I placed my meter about fifty feet from the centerline of Orange Avenue, and proceeded to measure noise levels. Roughly fifteen minutes later, I made brief eye contact with the two inmates of the Leon County Jail road work crew as they passed me. Their job was to pick up trash, and they looked beaten. I unconsciously tried to convey respect, sympathy, and appreciation, but without pity in my brief nod. I'm pretty sure the message didn't get through.

Finding people at home during a weekday is not easy, and my normal tactic of starting my work and being friendly if the residents return before I leave is not as safe in Florida as it is in California. So when I saw two people sitting in a yard, I was grateful.
Their sign along the edge of the highway read "Home Grown Tomatoes." It soon became clear that the reason these two were actually at work after all. They were very nice, trusting, and interested in what I was doing. They even offered me a chair. They said, "If you need to come back, just go ahead and do what you need to. Don't matter if we're not here." How nice.

I pulled up in the driveway of the house I wanted to conduct a measurement at, got out, and walked up to the door. When I rang the doorbell and then knocked, no one answered; this is common. As I was driving away, I glanced back at the house, and saw the owner. I quickly got out, walked over, and gave her my spiel. She was skeptical, but unlike most of the people I've encountered here, her apprehension did not fade. I tried to tell her that I did not need to be there if it made her uncomfortable, but she was internally torn between (perceived) civic duty and personal safety: "I don't want to be an uncooperative resident, but whatever you need to do, you can do it outside the gate. Too many home invasions these days." She watched me count traffic for five solid minutes, then went inside "to call the City." I feel bad, like something really crappy must have happened to her or someone in her family in the past. Not that I want her to drop her guard completely and become foolishly vulnerable again, but I hope the fact that she trusted me and nothing bad came of it will somewhat restore her faith in the common person.

Resident #1 from yesterday came through with that Xerox. Turns out, it was a pamphlet for the hearing test booth his brother designed. Less dorky, but still. He also offered to show me around Tallahassee the next time I was in town; I am pretty sure he thinks this is the best place in the world to live. He was definitely lonely, and possibly a little bit gay.

It was at this point it began raining, preventing me from completing my last two measurements. This forced me to stay in town through the weekend, and the fact that I have posted more than once in less than a week is directly traceable to this situation. Sigh.

While waiting for the rain to clear (it didn't), I happened into The Bookshelf, which was billed as a used bookstore / comic bookstore. They might want to reconsider the emphasis, because all those old books (mostly romance novels and westerns) seemed to be getting in the way of all the awesome comics & paraphernalia. Anyway, that's where I found the two coolest things ever, and was forced to pick one. I can't tell you what they are now, because the one I got is a "Sorry I went away on business" gift for A. Anyway, by the time I left, I had the gist of the guy behind the counter's life story, particularly in regards to him working at this, his dad's store, while raising his 2-year-old kid. Also, he thinks Superman rules.

Florida.

2008-07-10T18:51:00.000-07:00

I'm in Tallahassee doing field work that requires me to ask people for temporary access to their property to conduct noise measurements. Florida is a funny place. Evidential anecdotes:

1. 'Brother' Williams of the Jehovah's Witness Church glances at the official letter I have, doesn't read it, but asks me if everything I'm doing is "legal and proper."
2. Resident #1 presents a dissertation on why my ambient measurements will not be valid in the near future, based on the confluence of events in City politics he has foreseen. Same resident offers a Xerox copy of a photograph of his brother in a soundproof booth. He gives me a water.
3. Resident #2 gives me a blue Gatorade, and with a twinkle in his eye, apologizes that he doesn't have anything to smoke. Later, as he and his girlfriend are driving away, I ask if I can return the next afternoon for more readings. His girlfriend's jaw drops as he says, "Sure, but I won't be here. That's okay, though. Just leave me a joint somewhere!"
4. Resident #3 looks at me skeptically, as every resident always does. Then, for the first time since starting this gig eight years ago, he asks to see some identification. Perhaps inappropriately, I started laughing, because, as I told him, this should have happened dozens of times before this! We got on pretty well after that.
5. Resident #4 asks me hopefully, "If there's too much noise, will they have to buy me out?" His wife gives me a water.
6. Resident #5 informs me of the next-door neighbor whose door I just knocked on, "Well, she's not home because she's deceased."

I'm sure there will be more events tommorow. If you're lucky, you'll read about them this year.

The Unbearable Lightness of Being

2007-09-28T19:52:00.000-07:00

Just read it; great book. It opens the discussion on an incredible number of contentious topics, then it (or he - the fourth wall is broken repeatedly) gives an answer/opinion without attempting to close the argument. It is such a perfect book to read as a junior in high school that they would never allow it. Favorite passage:

"True human goodness, in all its purity and freedom, can come to the fore only when its recipient has no power. Mankind's true moral test, its fundamental test (which lies deeply buried from view), consists of its attitude toward those who are at its mercy: animals."

thought

2007-06-26T21:58:00.001-07:00

it's no wonder so many fundamentalist christian parents are screwed up. from sunday school on, they are taught to emulate the quote-unquote perfect authority/parental figure. unfortunately, when the lessons are taught by someone without the ability to extract the proper meaning from the darker material in the bible, they are alternately shown a beatific, unconditionally loving god and a petty, vengeful god as sermons alternate from the new to old testaments. the grand lesson many people are unconsciously left with is: as long as you toe the line and don't question anything, everything will be fine; but the minute you start acting up, it is perfectly acceptable to smite the living shit out of you.

2007-02-07T08:03:00.000-08:00

It's remarkable how some people intentionally blind themselves.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/02/06/kenya.fossildebate.ap/index.html

About 2/3 of the way down, "Followers of creationism..."

This bishop has already made the mental leap that the time frame of the creation story is allegory, and yet cannot seem to make the next (smaller) one to realizing that the rest of it is as well. My favorite part is that he's taken it upon himself to deduce the allegory formula...

"I'll never play THAT game again..."

2006-09-05T09:04:00.000-07:00

Those of you who are cat owners are probably familiar with the 'kitty under the blanket' game. For some strange reason, cats are intrigued by beds which are in the process of being remade, and they seem to enjoy 'hiding' under the sheet or blanket being applied. They also relish in the subsequent destruction of said newly-made bed upon deciding that they need to exit IMMEDIATELY (in their defense, this is usually caused by me deciding that I am to play the role of 'unseen monster attacking the fortress of solitude').

Thus, upon remaking the bed recently, our three kitties were on and around the bed, looking for opportunities to disrupt the process. This time, however, after stripping the sheets and blankets, I decided to rotate the mattress. This mattress is so huge that it is usually a two-person job, and a tough one at that. It took me the better part of five minutes to maneuver it 180 degrees to its new position, with multiple trips back and forth around the bed. The kitties were a little freaked out by the massive object and my unpredictable movements, so they mostly stayed on the edges of the room.

As I made the last in the series of movements and pulled the right front corner of the mattress to the spot below the headboard, I did a final troublemaker check and shooed Isis from her newly-discovered Box-Spring! fun place. The bed finally in place, I picked up the new sheets and walked around to the opposite corner to nudge the mattress lip in from where it had caught on the bed frame edge.

Only it hadn't caught. I jammed my hands down between the footboard and the mattress and pulled quickly up, and discovered a very flat and confused Osiris. He dashed out, ran to the door, and before he pranced up the stairs, he glared back at me as if to say, "I bet you think you're really funny, don't you? Jackass."

Easiest. Blog. Ever.

2006-02-06T08:26:00.000-08:00

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Steve!

If you break Steve, you will get seven years of bad luck!
Steveology is the study of Steve.
Wearing headphones for an hour will increase the amount of Steve in your ear 700 times.
Steve can sleep for three and a half years.
Originally, Steve could not fly!
In his entire life, Steve will produce only a twelfth of a teaspoon of honey.
The National Heart Foundation recommends eating Steve at least three times a week!
The eye of an ostrich is bigger than Steve.
More than one million stray dogs and half a million stray cats live in Steve!
Twenty-eight percent of Microsoft's employees are Steve.

1. Lesson: Be nice. Don't break me.
2. And the fear of Steve is Steveophobia. Fun with suffixes!
3. Holy... as a result of today alone, I already have 2,800 times more of myself in my ear than I should! must...extract...
4. Proven. High school.
5. And then one day, he forgot to fall.
6. But it will be the most amazing honey you ever tasted.
7. No comment.
8. Which, according to certain fundamentalist religions, increases his chances of entering the kingdom of heaven.
9. Stray? Each is accounted for.
10. 1977 was a very dry year at the Social Security birth certificate processing counter.

I Joined Kung Fu

2005-12-05T17:17:00.000-08:00

and i'm scared.

I have also started running again (in earnest); i have a race on 12-29.
I am running stairs tonight. Somebody bring me a banana.

I have also committed to playing soccer once a week starting in January.

Boy, it's really feast or famine with me, eh?

Parting thought: Sawzall is our FRIEND. so is ipod.

Foiled No More!

2005-08-02T16:15:00.000-07:00

When I type, my fingers move like those of Lewis Black: spastically, of their own free will, and not in the direction they were told to go. Because of this, the natural extension of my 'home row' is the Backspace key. The Backspace key is my friend. (It was not always my friend; on the typewriter in high school typing class, it activated the auto-Wite-Out process and ended up costing me more time and points. But in the modern age, we are chums.)

The Backspace key has a Homer Simpson of a neighbor: the Insert key. It just sits there, drunk, waiting to screw up your whole train of thought and forcing you to punch it so you can undo the damage it did. (As far as I can tell, this key ceased to have any useful function at about the same time as the mouse was invented. I think they just keep it there for symmetry.)

Because of my previously-described inept fingers, this whole frustrating scenario happens about 10 or so times a week. This afternoon, however, I used the phone-a-friend lifeline and called THE INTERNET. In 0.33 seconds, it told me how to disable the key using a macro (geeks: www.annoyances.org/exec/show/article08-105). Wonderful. I am happy. No more growling.

As I am thinking about my concluding paragraph, I realize that others will probably not find the point (being: you could mess with people pretty significantly by setting their keys to do crazy things) nearly as funny as I did when I thought of it 30 minutes ago and decided to blog about it.

So if you read all this and are not laughing or thinking deviously, my sincerest apologies.

unbelievable.

2005-06-09T11:39:00.000-07:00

Read this (link in title). Interesting applications, plastic society, whatever. The real gem, however, is the last paragraph. Is it actually possible that this person is not aware of the entertainment event that some say defined a generation?

I'm sorry that the long silence was broken by this. I've been trying to come up with something meaningful to say, but I just couldn't be the only person (in my sphere of influence) that knew about this.

my musical evolution

2005-04-15T00:12:00.000-07:00

i periodically browse music blogs, such as stereogum.com. many offer links to songs, expect that you will use the site as you would a library, and remove the links if asked to. sometimes they point you to other places with good music you never would have heard otherwise.

case in point: fiona apple, "extraordinary machine" is something i probably would have glanced past at the record store. however, after downloading it, burning it, and listening to it about five times straight, i will now make a point to purchase it. when it comes out, that is. that's the twist of this, because the line (for me) is taking the music when you could pay for it, but in this case i actually can't. there is much drama about this on the web if you care to look for it, but the general consensus is that sony is dumb.

anyway, what i am trying to say is that this situation is somewhat like the experience you get at a fancy car dealership, when they give you the sweet car to drive over the weekend, and by monday you are ready to shell out the cash.

in short, i never really had an opinion on fiona, and i was not expecting to like this. i suppose that begs the question "why did you download it in the first place?" to which i have no answer. but it is undeniably good.

until next month...

The Power of Music Compels You

2005-01-17T13:00:00.000-08:00

My new mission: to restore the faith of at least one person in the ability of new musicians to create interesting, provacative, and/or generally good music. This is not as easy as it may seem. For every band that has something relevant to offer, there are at least a thousand hacks out there. Most of them are not even really trying to say anything new or creative, and probably a hundred of them have released albums.

Nevertheless, I will attempt this great feat. However, as many of you know, I am notorious for long and sporadic disappearances from the public eye (a trait shared by some of my examples of the current saviours of music). In an attempt to force myself to write and to ensure your frequent checkbacks, I will therefore draw this process out over as many blogs as I possibly can. In fact, I think you should check back later this week for the first installment.

spf

General Apathy

2004-12-07T17:22:00.000-08:00

is currently the commander-in-chief of my professional life.

Deadline pressure has, in the past, caused me to perform more efficently. This seems to no longer be the case. I have become perfectly content with completing a task later than expected (provided that it causes no consternation for my coworkers, of course... i am still non-confrontational enough to avoid that kind of scene).

Unfortunately for you, my adoring bloggies, this translates into sporadic opportunities to glimpse the inner workings of my complex psyche, as blogging only happens on the clock.

Please accept my sincerest apologies.

A request for forgiveness is usually accompanied by a pledge to remedy the offending behavior. Kindly do not cause your own disappointment in the future by expecting this to be true.

In other news, my wife has recently learned how to kill someone, four times in a row, in approximately 2.5 seconds. This is frightening. However, at the end of the day, I am glad that she knows this and roughly 50? other methods of ending or decreasing the quality of an attacker's life, because I can rest easier.

Perspective time. Moose is a green sash in kung fu. Next comes blue, then purple, brown and black; the earning of each sash requires the mastery of an increasing number of techniques, forms, etc. (this is based on my limited knowledge of the art-please correct any fallacies). This means that wearing a purple sash indicates that you can exploit the many weaknesses of the human body in approximately 150ish ways.

Now, there are a handful of purple sashes in Moose's school that are less than 12 years old. Granted, martial arts bring discipline and centering, and the instructors are very aware of the maturity level of their students. But I was 10 years old once. Kids are cruel. When someone else is humiliating you, it is difficult to keep your cool.

All that said, I think it is better to know how to defend yourself (and others) from bad people. As I look back on this writing and prepare to push the "publish post" button, I don't know what point I was trying to make, if any.

Good night. Talk to you next year.

spf.

Miracles

2004-10-29T11:19:00.000-07:00

It had been raining for three days straight. The freeway was worse than usual. He took the back roads to work, as he always did when he was late, and this morning he was really late.
He popped in a new CD, one that a friend had lent him. It was shiny music, the kind that pulls you unwillingly out of a funk. An extra half-hour doesn't really matter after sleeping in for two hours, so he decided to grab a waffle at his favorite breakfast place. He turned left seventy-five feet before driving into the ocean and followed the train tracks south.
Looking for a parking spot, he noticed something that required immediate action. There were spaces in front of the cafe, on the other side of the street. Despite the rain, he basked in the glow of the parking gods and prepared to break the laws necessary to capitalize on his good fortune.
As he slowed, he saw something he had never seen before. Beyond the perfect parking spot, beyond the rose bushes, beyond the patio, he saw sky. Where the cafe should have been. He dropped his eyes and saw a bright yellow bulldozer shining in the morning sun, moving slowly over piles of rubble. At once failing to comprehend and understanding completely, he felt the weight of the week resume its place on his shoulders, and kept driving. He looked back once, but knew that he didn't have to.
He turned the stereo off. He didn't feel like listening to anything anymore.

i'm starting to think this was a very. big. mistake.

2004-10-13T13:01:00.000-07:00

my inbox was full this morning - full of emails informing me of the comments certain people had made on my blog.

what started as a timesaving measure (to avoid the 16 steps necessary to comment anonymously to other people's blogs) has become a forum for people to mock me.

as if i don't have enough of those already.

by the way, in my own defense, i did have the decency to post in my own time zone on monday. plus, AMQ-F (moose hereafter for simplicity and avoision of the shift key) reminded me of the secret that i was guarding.

avoision is a word, dammit!

i'm doing this for a reason...

2004-10-11T07:15:00.000-07:00

...but i don't know what it is.

something happened this weekend, and amanda said she wouldn't blog about it only if i had posted before she did this morning.

so here it is.

ha.

what the hell have i done?

2004-09-28T15:53:00.000-07:00

i have made approximately 20 journal entries in my life. including mandatory ones for high school. i don't have any idea what makes me think i want to start now. or to share them with nameless faceless people.

mostly i just wanted a name to post comments with.